Summary: Better Than Before by Gretchen Rubin

In her book Better Than Before, Gretchen Rubin explores the science and psychology of habits, and provides a practical framework for making and breaking habits. She begins by defining a habit as "a behavior that is repeated regularly and tends to occur automatically."

 

Four laws of habit change:

1.  Make it obvious. The easier it is to do something, the more likely you are to do it. So make your desired habit as easy as possible to start and complete.

2.  Make it attractive. Make your desired habit something that you actually want to do. Find ways to make it enjoyable or rewarding.

3.  Make it easy to track. Keeping track of your progress can help you stay motivated. Find a way to track your habit in a way that is easy and convenient for you.

4.  Make it satisfying. When you complete your desired habit, give yourself a small reward. This will help to reinforce the habit and make you more likely to do it again in the future.

 

The Four Tendencies

In addition to the four laws of habit change, Rubin also introduces the concept of the Four Tendencies, which is a way of understanding how people respond to external expectations. The Four Tendencies are:

• Upholders are naturally inclined to follow rules and obligations. They are good at keeping commitments and resisting temptation.
• Obligers are motivated by external expectations. They are more likely to do something if they feel like they have to, rather than if they want to.
• Questioners are naturally skeptical and analytical. They are more likely to question the need for a habit before they adopt it.
• Rebels resist external control. They are more likely to do the opposite of what is expected of them.

Rubin argues that understanding your Tendency can help you to make and break habits more effectively. For example, Upholders may need to focus on making their desired habits more attractive, while Obligers may need to find ways to make their habits more obvious.

Applying the Four Laws of Habit Change to the Four Tendencies

Here is a brief overview of how to apply the four laws of habit change to each of the four Tendencies:

• Upholders: Upholders are naturally good at following rules and obligations, so they may not need to focus on making their habits more obvious. However, they may need to focus on making their desired habits more attractive. For example, if an Upholder wants to start exercising regularly, they could make it more attractive by finding an activity that they enjoy, such as dancing or hiking.
• Obligers: Obligers are motivated by external expectations, so they may need to find ways to make their desired habits more obvious. For example, if an Obliger wants to start eating healthier, they could make it more obvious by packing their lunch every day or by eating at home more often.
• Questioners: Questioners are naturally skeptical and analytical, so they may need to be convinced of the need for a habit before they adopt it. For example, if a Questioner wants to start meditating, they could read books and articles about the benefits of meditation.
• Rebels: Rebels resist external control, so they may need to find ways to make their desired habits more self-motivated. For example, if a Rebel wants to stop smoking, they could focus on the benefits of quitting, such as saving money or improving their health.

Here are some of the key takeaways from the book:

• Habits are the invisible architecture of our lives. They are the behaviors that we do automatically, without even thinking about them.
• There are four laws of habit change: make it obvious, make it attractive, make it easy to track, and make it satisfying.
• Understanding your Tendency (Upholder, Obliger, Questioner, or Rebel) can help you to make and break habits more effectively.
• It takes time and effort to change a habit. Don't get discouraged if you don't see results immediately.
• There is no one-size-fits-all approach to habit change. What works for one person may not work for another.

Here are some additional tips for making and breaking habits:

• Set realistic goals. Don't try to change too much too soon. Start with small, achievable goals and gradually work your way up to bigger changes.
• Be patient. It takes time to change a habit. Don't get discouraged if you don't see results immediately.
• Don't give up. Everyone slips up from time to time. Don't let a setback derail your progress. Just pick yourself up and start again.
• Find a habit buddy. Having someone to support you and hold you accountable can be helpful when you are trying to change a habit.
• Use technology to your advantage. There are a number of apps and devices that can help you to track your progress and stay motivated.

Remember, the key to changing a habit is to be consistent. Even if you can only do a little bit each day, it will add up over time. And don't forget to celebrate your successes along the way!

Conclusion

Better Than Before is a comprehensive and practical guide to making and breaking habits. It is packed with insights and strategies that can help you to change your habits and improve your life. Whether you are looking to break a bad habit or adopt a new one, this book is a valuable resource.

The book begins by introducing the concept of habits and explaining how they work. It then goes on to discuss the four laws of habit change: make it obvious, make it attractive, make it easy to track, and make it satisfying. The book also discusses the importance of understanding your Tendency, which is a way of understanding how people respond to external expectations.

Finally, the book provides a number of other strategies for making and breaking habits, such as setting realistic goals, being patient, and not giving up.

If you are serious about changing your habits, then Better Than Before is a must-read book. It is a practical and insightful guide that can help you to achieve your goals.